A Year of Yoga… in bed
Join me while I take a journey of reconnection to my body, increase (hopefully) my strength, and maybe while I’m at it, lose a few potato sacks… who knows. This should be interesting.
With the excitement of a new job change recently, I have stumbled on free time in the morning. I know! I had no idea what free time was either.
Outside of running this very small private practice, I also work as a part time adjustment counselor at a middle school.
All of a sudden I had mornings to myself… what to do with this time?!
Why not start a morning yoga routine?
Why yoga? The benefits of yoga for women are numerous: “It improves strength, flexibility, coordination and range of motion. And since yoga promotes relaxation, improves circulation and reduces stress and anxiety, it enhances cardiovascular health and benefits the respiratory and nervous systems. Because it promotes relaxation, yoga also aids sleep and digestion.” - HealthyWomen.com
I was first introduced to yoga when I was 20 during college, I was taking a four year philosophy course and during that time one of the professors introduced us to yoga.
I fell in love immediately.
Unfortunately, I had undiagnosed crippling anxiety, so when yoga was no longer offered in class I was too panicked to join a class. I did drive by the building about a million times. I guess that was my attempt at overcoming my anxiety.
This year has been all about getting back up.
No seriously, I’ve fallen a boat load of times. Down a cement staircase, through a rotted wooden step, small luge down the stairs. And unfortunately all have had increasing wear and tear on my body.
My fall over the summer, the beginning of August has still not fully healed and I’m in regular intense pain because of it.
That fall is a story for another time.
I’m tired of being tired.
I feel so old sometimes. My back hurts my ankle hurts. I feel like there’s no fluidity in my body anymore.
Clearly, I am a fluffy girl. I have always been a fluffy girl. Even at my lowest weight I was still listed as obese in my medical files. (I am that person who ripped them off my doctors office door once and was sitting in there flipping through my file when my doctor walked in. God love him he wasn't even fazed by it. LOL) He did say something amazing to me that day.
He never told me I was obese, never gave me a hard time when I weighed in, heavier than the last visit. I asked him why and he told me this... "You are healthy, you've always been healthy. What good would I have done by telling you something you seemed unfazed by. When you are ready to lose the weight, you will. But me making you feel worse about yourself isn't going to help that."
Now, I will admit, I have struggled for my LIFETIME to "be ready to lose the weight."
Well, I have always wanted to lose the weight, but being lazy was always more interesting.
I turned 42 this past year. I still hold onto some delusional belief that someday I can have a healthy baby, and well, honestly, I'm tired of having such difficulty moving around.
Even if I lose NO weight this year, I just want to feel better.
So as many mornings as my body will allow (I am not setting an unrealistic or oppressive "goal" for myself so that if I don't hit that number I then turn to self-shame -- that is something I want to be better about this year as well). As long as I try, that is all I can ask of my body.
And eventually maybe my ankle will agree to chill out and not hurt so much.
Ok... maybe MORE than a few potato sacks. But, hey, this is me... how I am now. The anxiety I have over posting a photo like this, no makeup, not at some flattering angle... It's a big step. (Also, that is Baxter, my tuxedo kitty, and Faith's butt, my rescue mutt)
Nah-I'm-a-stay... in bed!